Law Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ”
The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week. ”
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ”
Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week. ”
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, “I want to speak to my lawyer. ”
“Excuse me sir, ” the receptionist says, “but this is third time I’ve had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling? ”
The guy replies, “Because I love hearing it! ”
A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company. It included hourly billing for conferences, research,
phone calls, and everything but lunch hours. Unhappy as he was, the executive knew that the company would have to pay for each of these services. Then he noticed one item buried in the middle of the list: FOR CROSSING THE STREET TO TALK TO YOU, THEN
DISCOVERING IT WASN'T YOU AFTER ALL -- $125.
What do you get if you send the Godfather to law school? An offer you can't understand.
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams.
His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of more...
There is one big difference between genius and stupidity; genius has limits.
Things are more like today than they ever were before.
Things could be worse; suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.
Things get worse under pressure.
Things go right so they can go wrnog.
Thinking is hard work. One can't bear burdens and ideas at the same time.
This "law" has been intentionally left blank.
This "law" was inadvertently left blank.
This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists and not enough hunchbacks.
This space for rent.
A true story. A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:
"Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project more...