Lesson Jokes / Recent Jokes
Driving Lesson: Shanavas was just past 18 years. He wanted to learn how to drive a car. So he approached Shamudeen. Shamudeen agreed and he taught him for a month. At the end of the month, when there was just one more lesson to be finished, Shamu said "Shanavas, you are doing very well. This is the last lesson about the use of Indicators. After finishing the lesson, you drive alone to the city and come back." Shanavas nodded. After the lesson was over, he drove the car towards the main road. Fifteen minutes later, Shamu got a call from the Medical College casualty that Shanavas was admitted after a R. T. A. He rushed to the Casualty and found Shanavas lying in the trolley wih lots of bruises. Seeing Shamu, Shanavas went mad and shouted. "What man? What did you teach me? A vehicle with an indicator on top came rushing just after the Ulloor junction. I thought it would go up. But it came and crashed on to the car!" (The vehicle was an Ambulance!)
When Ali, the sheik's most devoted eunuch, died unexpectedly in the middle of the night, the potentate's teen-aged son asked his father how this unhappy event had come to pass.
"My son," said the sheik, "Ali's death teaches us a valuable lesson. Last night, upon retiring, I commanded him to hasten to my harem and select for my pleasure the one most beautiful among the hundred houris waiting there. He returned with surprising swiftness with a ravishing brunette, but this tasty morsel merely whetted my appetite for further amour, so I summoned Ali again and told him to fetch forth the most sensual female of the harem. This time he returned even more quickly- though the harem is a considerable distance from my quarters, as you know -with a female whose hair was red as flame, with a passion to match.
"This erotic creature further increased my desire and I instructed Ali to have the most innocent maiden he could find brought to my bedchamber; he reappeared more...
Momo's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his ninth grade class a lesson on the evils of liquor so he produed a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Observe" he told his class as he began to put one of the worms in the glass of water. This worm swam about freely and looked as happy as can be.
He then put the second worm in the glass of whiskey and it to swam about for a moment but then started to shake and fell to the bottom dead.
"Now" he asked "What lesson can we learn from this experiment?"
"Thats easy," replied Momo. "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson.
"Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied.
"P-u-t means to place a thing where you want it.
And P-u-t-t means a vain attempt to do the same thing."
A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase “Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life…” “What’s wrong with that, Johnny? ” the pastor asked. “Well, ” answered Johnny, “I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I’m not sure I’d like Shirley following me around all the time. ” A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase “Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life…” “What’s wrong with that, Johnny? ” the pastor asked. “Well, ” answered Johnny, “I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I’m not sure I’d like Shirley following me around all the time. ”
A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them areplaying like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, hesays, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!""Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wifewith the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson. The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches herswing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard.""What can I do?" asks the wife."Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis."The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, andTHUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway... about 15 ft. more...
> Lesson number one
> ----------------
> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
> rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
> nothing all day long?"
>
> The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
> the crow, and rested.
> All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story is:
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
> high up.
>
> Lesson number two
> ----------------
> A turkey was chatting with a bull.
> "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed
> the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
> "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
> bull. They're packed with nutrients."
> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually more...