Limo Jokes / Recent Jokes

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.
They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.
The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?"
The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."
Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?"
The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor."
The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?"
The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."
This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is more...

There were three men stranded on a dessert island. As it happens on desert islands, one of them found a bottle with a genie. The genie said "Because there are three of you, you each get one wish."

The first guy said "I want a limo." BOOM He has a limo.

The second guy said "I want a million dollars." Boom he is swimming in money.

The third guy said " I want to be irresistible to women." BOOM he turns into a CHOCOLATE BAR!

The Pope had just finished a tour of the Florida
East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport.
Having never driven a limo, he asked the
chauffeur if he could drive for a while.
Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a
choice, so he got in the back
of the limo and the Pope took the wheel.
He turned onto I-95 and
accelerated to about 90 MPH. WHAM! The
blue lights of the State Highway
Patrol flashed in his rearview mirror.
He pulled over and a trooper came to his
window.
When the trooper saw who it was, he said,
"
Just a moment, please, I need to call in."
The trooper radioed in and asked for the chief.
He said,
"
I have a REALLY important person
pulled over and I need to know what to do."
The chief replied, "
Who is it, not Ted Kennedy
again?"
The trooper said, "
No, even more important."
It isn't the Governor Jeb Bush is it?"
more...

Three men died in a car accident and met God in heaven.

"I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth you will enter heaven, but if you lie. .. hell is waiting for you," God told them.

To the first man God asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"

The first man replied, "I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife."

God replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation."

To the second man God asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"

The second man replied, "I cheated on my wife twice."

God replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four-bedroom house and a BMW."

To the third man God asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your more...

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the popes authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it. The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?"The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?"The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor."The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?"The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is m ore important than the President?!"The more...

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast, USA, and was taking a limousine to the airport.
Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds onto Highway 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Patrol in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."

The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it.

"It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" replies the chief.
"No Sir!" replied the trooper, "This guy's more important."

"Is more...

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw Santa and Banta eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked Santa.
"We don't have any money for food," Santa replied.
"Oh, come along with me then," instructed the lawyer.
"But, sir, I have a wife and three children!"
"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.
He turned to Banta and said, "Come with us."
"But sir, I have a wife and four children!" Banta answered.
"Bring them as well!" answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo.
Once underway, Santa says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot more...