Lion Jokes / Recent Jokes

It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was very adamant that was all man could have.
Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested, "Ten is plenty for me."
Man spoke up eagerly. "Can I have the other ten?" The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten.
Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said of course he could.
Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years - but like the others, ten was sufficient - and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?"
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten more...

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny!

It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was very adamant that was all man could have.Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested, "Ten is plenty for me." Man spoke up eagerly. "Can I have the other ten?" The monkey graciously agreed.Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said of course he could.Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years - but like the others, ten was sufficient - and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?" This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of more...

When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage!

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars,"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -"Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"

It seems that when the Lord was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life.
Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" but the Lord was very adamant, that was all man could have.
Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested, "ten is plenty for me."
Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten?" The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said that of course he could.
Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years-but like the others, ten was sufficient-and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?" The donkey said that yes he could.
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying more...

What is lion's favorite food?

Baked beings!