Logic Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
' If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and! I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me more...

Mahinda decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, his old friend Wimal came home.

Wimal: Mahinda How is your MBA preparation?

Mahinda: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.

Wimal: Logic is very easy.

Mahinda: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.

Wimal: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: Logically, there will be water in it.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: Logically, there will be fish in it.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: so, logically, your are married.

Mahinda: YES.

Wimal: So, that means U are a heterosexual.

Mahinda was very glad and more...

Logic can never decide what is possible or impossible.

3 Hints to arguing with blondes:
1.) Use small easy to understand words.
2.) Keep your sentences short and to the point.
3.) Use, what I like to call, "Blonde logic" aka logic that only makes sense to them or on occasion other blondes.

Q. How many students does it take to open a locker?
A. Many if they don't open the lock first!

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says, "You're all idiots!" and pours two beers.