Los Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography)...
- I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted' I know it is real, I see people check in every week!'
- Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
- A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,' would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?'
- I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with' I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.' Without trying to make her look like the more...
A recent admittee to the bar accepted a job at a prestigious law firm in Los Angeles. Many law firms competed for the new attorney because of his top class ranking and because of his well-known wit and intellect as shown while he was editor of his school’s law review.
The new attorney packed his bags and boarded a flight to Los Angeles. As the attorney is stowing his carry on luggage in the overhead compartment, he notices a very attractive woman coming down the aisle towards him. The attorney takes his seat just as the woman stops, checks her seat assignment and sits down right next to him. The attorney is on cloud nine. Three hours sitting next to a goddess. It was sheer heaven the attorney thought to himself.
Eager to strike up a conversation with the woman, he asks “Business or vacation? ” With a warm smile the woman turns towards him and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in L. A. ” The young attorney can’t believe his more...
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
NFL Team Lame Names When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team's performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL. AFC West: Denver Broncos - Denver Donkeys Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City Griefs Los Angeles Raiders - Los Angeles Faders San Diego Chargers - San Diego Rechargers Seattle Seahawks - Seattle Weehawks AFC Central: Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinnati Plaingels Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Clowns Houston Oilers - Houston Spoilers Pittsburgh Steelers - Pittsburgh Reelers AFC East: Buffalo Bills - Buffalo NilsBuffalo Spills Indianapolis Colts - Indianapolis Dolts Miami Dolphins - Miami StallfinsMiami Soft Ones New England Patriots - New England Patsys New York Jets - New York PetsNew York Not Yets NFC West: Atlanta Falcons - Atlanta Fellcons New Orleans Saints - New Orleans Aint's Los Angeles Rams - Los Angeles Lambs San Francisco 49ers - San Francisco Whiners NFC more...
Bay Area Native Quiz
Want to know if someone is a native of the San Francisco
Bay Area? Want to find out if you qualify yourself? Take
the following quiz and find out!
1) Complete the following phrase:
Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, __________
2) Name the five bridges that cross San Francisco Bay.
Extra credit: put them in order from north to south.
Extra extra credit: explain how to get across the
Golden Gate Bridge during rush
hour in less than an hour.
3) Complete the following phrase:
2400 Mission, top of the hill, __________
4) You're at a San Francisco Spiders hockey game at the Cow
Palace. (True: a team called' the Spiders' play at a
place called' the Cow Palace.' Go figure.) A woman comes
out to sing the Star Spangled Banner wearing a huge hat
with a model of the entire financial district, including
the TransAmerica building, on top of it. more...