Maine Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Better Transportation Association is sponsoring the "Worst Road in Maine" contest. South Carolina governor Mark Sanford says the worst road in Maine is the Appalachian Trail, although its not as bad in Maine as it is when you get to Argentina.
Dear Diary:
Aug. 1 - Moved to our new house in Maine. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE.
Oct. 14 - New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.
Nov. 11 - Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a more...
A Texan was visiting a Maine farmer ("fahmah"). The Texas rancher was boasting to his host about the size of his ranch: "I can get into my pickup truck and drive all day and still not reach the boundary of my ranch", he bragged.
The Mainer shook his head knowingly, and replied, "Aayuhh, I had a truck like that once"
A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. thepastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and begantumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally thepastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and sendinghis rifle flying through the air, just out of his reach. As the bear closed in, the pastor cried out "Lord, I'm sorry forwhat I have done. Please forgive me and save me! - Lord pleasemake this bear a Christian". Suddenly the bear skipped to a halt at the pastor's feet, fellto it's knees, clasped it's paws together, began to weep andsaid "God bless this food which I am about to receive!"
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
After surveying property along the New Hampshire and Maine border, some engineers decided the boundaries needed to be changed. So they stopped to tell a farmer that he was no longer in Maine but in New Hampshire.
"Good," said the farmer. "I couldn't take another one of those Maine winters."
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Maine.
Maine who?
Maine I come in now please?