Malayalee Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?
A: Wet.
Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?
A: One by one.
Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
A: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in a bowl of custard?
A: No, of course not.
Q: Why do elephants live in herds?
A: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.
Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".
"An elephant is a mouse with an operating system"
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: more...
In United states it is easy to find a Mallu's house
because people get smell of chicken curry from a mile away.
when u ask a question to a malyalee
the answer will be another question
As far as i know you get 2 different kinds of Toddy here.
1. from coconut
2. from a particular type of palm
The toddy you get from coconut is tastes better. In some parts of kerala - like aleppy you get toddy in various flavours. I am not sure which all flavours since I never tried it personally.
And and. ..
You get toddy with various chemicals added. And they are known according to the chemical added to it. Ive read about the following varites. See these chemicals are injurious to health and God only knows what all are present in them. (these are illeagal chemicals.)
1. Anamayakki (ana = elephant. mayakkam = sleep )
it means something which make even an elephant sleep. (in malayalam) And there is a medicinal plant of the same name. Its said that even elephants avoid touching them as they are highly poisionous. I have seen this plant in an exibition.
2. esho messiah ( means jesus christ)
if u taste this you will sleep for 3 days and then more...
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5. 0.
In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9. 5 and Personal Attention 6. 5 and then installed
undesirable programs such as Return-Home- Early 4. 2.
Conversation 8. 0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5. 0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1. 0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me. html" and try more...
The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
=======================================================
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings, I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that....
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops... Will call back in an hour!
==========================================================
Vajpai and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" The barman says "Yep, that's more...
I just started a forum.. which grabs selected videos from youtube. . includes all time great comedy scenes from MohanLal, Mukesh, Sreenivasan, Jagathy.. and a lot.. also it includes all time hit songs of 80s and 90s plus some additional stuffs like Crazy Cricket moments, Guiness Books Of Records and all.... enjoy guys: )
You know it is a mallu when he.................
folds and ties up his lungi every now and then as if he is wading through flood waters.......
has coconut oil dripping from his hair.............
comes to office wearing a pair of rubber slippers...............
always discusses about communism and price of fish. ................
distributes banana chips in office on return from leave..................
hunts for tapioca in the vegetable shop............................................
says' baaig' for a bag and' baayck' for back.........................................
always talks about plans to go to Dubai................... and........................
heads for the' brandy shaap' in the evening everyday without fail............