Manning Jokes

Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty people from New York City showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of the New Yorkers are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"

Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty people from NewYork City showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple atheavens door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten mostvirtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peterreturned to God breathless and said, "Theyre gone!" "What? All ofthe New Yorkers are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"

Your co-worker tells you he has eight body piercings - none are visible.
You make well over $100, 000 and you still can`t find a nice place to live.
You think anyone who drives a car to work is decadent.
You keep a list of companies to boycott.
You would never dream of crossing a picket line.
You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than Canadian flags.
The guy who cuts your hair is straight, and your plumber is gay.
Old friends you haven`t talked to in years suddenly call. "Do you have a spare bedroom for a weekend?"
You think anyone wearing a Preston Manning haircut is Preston Manning.
You can`t remember... is pot still illegal?
You go to your office manager`s baby shower. The parents are named Judy and Amber.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "FREE TIBET" bumper sticker and you mean it.
You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown, and are more...

Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has been named the NFL's Most Valuable Player for the third time in his career. His first round loss gives him plenty of time to polish the trophy.

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died and went to heaven. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity. Peyton", said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Peyton felt special indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a black and gold sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Saints logo flag, and in eery window, a New Orleans Saints towel.
Peyton looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question, I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even been in the Hall of Fame."
God said, "So what's your point Peyton?"
"Well, why does Drew Brees get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said "Peyton, that's more...