Martians Jokes

Hgh and Ghg, a pair of newly arrived Martians, stood on a New York street corner leering at the traffic light across the way.
"Keep away from her or I'll knock your heads together," said Ghg to Hgh. "I saw her first."
"So what?" Hgh responded. "She winked at me!"
Just then the signal changed from GO to STOP. The Martians stalked off disgustedly.
"Women!" Hgh muttered. "If there's anything I can't stand, it's a tease."

Where do Martians drink beer? At a mars bar!

What are Martians favorite sweets?
Mars-mallows.

A small group of scientists had spent an enlightening week on Mars, comparing life there with our own.
"Tell me," one Earth scientist asked his Martian counterpart, "just how do you reproduce the species here on this planet?"
"I shall be pleased to demonstrate," replied the leader of the Martian group, and he called forth a voluptuous Martian beauty with three heads. They then engaged their tentacles for a few moments, and almost at once a small pouch began to form on the female's back; it grew, and within little more than a minute, it opened up very much like a blooming flower and a small Martian dropped out, as fully developed as the adults, but much smaller, and began scampering about the room.
Once the Earth scientists had recovered from this unexpected experience, they attempted to explain how procreation differs in our world. The Martians insisted upon being shown, and after unsuccessful attempts to dissuade them, the chief scientist more...

A spaceship lands on Mars, and the astronauts are getting ready to go out when they look out the window and see something really weird.
Radioing Earth they yell: "Houston, we've got a problem, there's a bunch of fully-bearded green Martians wearing black clothes, sidecurls and hats out there."
"Go out and make contact, find more about them", was the reply.
So they did, and when they approached the group one of the astronauts asked: "Do you all dress like that?"
"Oh, not at all, reply the Martians, Only the orthodox ones!"