Martians Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hgh and Ghg, a pair of newly arrived Martians, stood on a New York street corner leering at the traffic light across the way.
"Keep away from her or I'll knock your heads together," said Ghg to Hgh. "I saw her first."
"So what?" Hgh responded. "She winked at me!"
Just then the signal changed from GO to STOP. The Martians stalked off disgustedly.
"Women!" Hgh muttered. "If there's anything I can't stand, it's a tease."
A small group of scientists had spent an enlightening week on Mars, comparing life there with our own.
"Tell me," one Earth scientist asked his Martian counterpart, "just how do you reproduce the species here on this planet?"
"I shall be pleased to demonstrate," replied the leader of the Martian group, and he called forth a voluptuous Martian beauty with three heads. They then engaged their tentacles for a few moments, and almost at once a small pouch began to form on the female's back; it grew, and within little more than a minute, it opened up very much like a blooming flower and a small Martian dropped out, as fully developed as the adults, but much smaller, and began scampering about the room.
Once the Earth scientists had recovered from this unexpected experience, they attempted to explain how procreation differs in our world. The Martians insisted upon being shown, and after unsuccessful attempts to dissuade them, the chief scientist more...
A couple of Martians land at a closed gas station in the middle of the night. They exit their spaceship and approach a gas pump.
They look it over quizzically and one says to the other, "I think these must be Earth people."
"Take us to your leader!" the first Martian demands. There's no response.
"I don't think we should fuck around with this one," the second Martian whispers to his partner.
"I demand you take us to your leader or we are going to blow you to kingdom come!" the first Martian demands again. Still, there's no response.
The first Martian then takes out his laser gun and zaps the gas pump. The gas pump and the entire station blow up and the Martians are thrown into the air and land in a nearby tree.
The second Martian screams to his partner, "DIDN'T I TELL YOU WE SHOULDN'T FUCK WITH A GUY WHO CAN WRAP HIS DICK AROUND HIS NECK AND STICK IT IN HIS EAR!"