Match Jokes / Recent Jokes
A hillbilly farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store.
"Heya, Wilbur," said Sam, the store owner. "tell me, are you and Myrtle still making fires up there by rubbing stones and flint together?"
"You betcha, Sam. Ain't no' tother way. Why?"
"Got something to show you. Something to make fire. It's called a' match'."
"'Match'? Never heard of it."
"Watch this. If you want a fire you just do this," Sam says, taking a match and striking it on his pants."
"Huh. Well, that's something, but that ain't for me, Sam."
"Well, why not?"
"I can't be walking twelve miles every time I want a fire and borrow your pants."
An American was watching a cricket match and happened to speak to a Frenchman.
'Who's the guy with the ball?' he asked.
'Je ne sais pas,' answered the Frenchman.
After the match, they chanced to meet at the bar. Trying to attract the barman's attention, the American said,' What's his name?'
'Je ne sais pas,' said the Frenchman.
'What?' said the American.' Does he do everything around here?'
The regular scorer was away, and the job was given to the nearest available spectator, who happened to be an American watching his first match.
After the match, they approached him to find out the result.
'Gee, I'm sorry,' he apologised,' I got so carried away I forgot to mark anything down.
But it doesn't matter' cos I know who won. That guy with the red hair is the fastest runner by far!'
A man and his wife were watching a boxing match on TV.
"Boy, I'm really disappointed. It was all over in just a few minutes," said the husband.
"Good!" replied his wife. "Now you understand how I feel!"
Why a man is standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today `s dinner should be light"
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A man told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It `s already raining.
man: So what take an Umberlla and go.
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a man found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first
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A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Student. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
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A Teacher lecturing on population -
In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Student stands up- We must find & more...
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I''d give anything to sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK." And sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."
The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." And he makes an eagle.
Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be more...
Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A. When Joseph served in Pharaohs court.