Mechanic Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!

A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"

A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.

"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies.

"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"

"Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he'd become a mechanic. So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it - obviously back into perfect working order. So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited the result. The day he received the results he got quite a surprise, he got 150%! He quickly phoned the instructor and queried the mark. The instructor said "no no that's right. First I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine - a very thorough job. Next I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job really, and then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the muffler.

What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?" Chop chop."

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

A penguin is driving down the road when his car starts to give him all kinds of trouble... the engine sputters, steam pours out of his hood and there's fluids pouring out on the road. He pulls into a garage and the mechanic tells him it'll be at least a half-hour until he can even tell him what the problem is.
The penguin walks around, has a cup of coffee and then comes across an ice cream shop, where he orders a double vanilla cone, getting it all over his face. He goes back to the garage and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up and tells him "Looks like you've blown a seal."
The penguin sez "No! Really, I just had an ice cream cone!"