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In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet.
As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse.
They angrily look one at the other.
Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading.
The other one politely asks, “When you’ve finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it? ”

There was this woman who was desperate to meet a companion.
She went to single bars, singles dances etc., but she could never meet anyone who would go on a date with her, much less sleep with her. So in her desperation she went to see a sex doctor, named Dr. Chang.
She asked Dr. Chang, "Doctor, please help me find out what's wrong with me!"
So Dr. Chang said, "Take off all yu cwothes." So she did. Then he said, "Now, get on yu hands and knees and crawl weal fas away frum me, den craw weal fas back to me." So the young lady did.
Dr. Chang looked at her said, "I know what wong with yu... Yu got weal bad case of Zachary disease!"
The lady asked, "What the heck is that?!"
Dr. Chang replied, "Dat's wen yu face lok zachary like yur butt"!

There was this woman who was desperate to meet a companion.She went to single bars, singles dances etc., but she could never meet anyone who would go on a date with her, much less sleep with her. So in her desperation she went to see a sex doctor, named Dr. Chang.She asked Dr. Chang, "Doctor, please help me find out what's wrong with me!"So Dr. Chang said, "Take off all yu cwothes." So she did. Then he said, "Now, get on yu hands and knees and crawl weal fas away frum me, den craw weal fas back to me." So the young lady did.Dr. Chang looked at her said, "I know what wong with yu... Yu got weal bad case of Zachary disease!"The lady asked, "What the heck is that?!"Dr. Chang replied, "Dat's wen yu face lok zachary like yur butt"!

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST- When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
There really is one.
LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When. . . uh. . . what's a climax?
LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a more...

A guy gets on a bus and sees this nun. He askes the bus driver "where can i meet her?"
The bus driver says "well" "ummm" "you can meet her at the church at 5:00pm on friday night but she wont just shag any man that comes up to her" "ok" says the man. So he goes to the church at 5:00pm on friday night dreesed as god and walks up to the nun and says" hi im god and i want to shag ya" the nun says yes. After they have both finished doing their bits the guy gets up and puts the suit back on and says to the nun "HA" "im not god im the guy off the bus" then the nun says "HA im not the nun, im the bus driver!!!

Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When
he got there, he had to wait in the reception area.
Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were
literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to
do all day. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks,
while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd.
Booze and drugs were being passed around. Fights were commonplace.
Sanitation conditions were appalling. All in all, the scene looked like
Woodstock gone metastatic.
Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the
staffers approached him. The staffer was a young man in his late teens,
face scarred with acne. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM
PETER emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.
"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the
voice of more...

A new school has opened in New York City. The first Gotham chapter of the Michigan based Charisma Arts will begin holding classes in August. The school is geared towards helping meet meet and connect with women without the prerequisite Jagermeister shots.
Courses range from the beginner course, "Women, Drop the 12-Sided Dice and Talk to Them" to the more advanced studies, "When to Use a Roofie" and "How to Act Like a Navy Seal."
Special Guest Lecturer and Professor Emeritus: Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan (Pictured Above)