Mexico Jokes / Recent Jokes

Olivia Newton-John's boyfriend is suspected of faking his death to get away from paying his mounting bills and child support. At first he tried to disguise himself as an Asian Don Johnson. When that didn't work, he did the unthinkable: He's the only human running toward the Mexican border the wrong way.

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false police report after he called 911 to report... his own murder. The man told the operator he had been "murdered, beaten, possibly kidnapped and thrown down on a bed of spikes." Police found the man a short time later, still on the convenience store pay-phone he had used to make the call. "It was obvious he hadn't been murdered," said one of the arresting officers.NO... WE'RE JUST GLAD TO SEE YOUTwo wildlife collectors were caught at a Texas border crossing when Customs agents found snakes in their underwear. The men had tied the snakes into pantyhose and stuffed them into their groin area to sneak them across the border from Mexico. Customs inspectors noticed the bulges were wiggling and ordered the pair to drop their pants. The inspectors found 14 snakes - including a boa constrictor - hidden in the men's pants, boots and pickup truck. The inspectors say they suspected at first that the men were smuggling more...

There was two white guys thinking about creating a bunji jumping buissiness in mexico. So they head on to mexico and they start to build a tall building for their bunji jump. Then a bunch of mexican people gather around to see whats goin on, and one of the white guys test the bunji jump. The first time he jumps, he comes back up with scratches. Then the second time he comes back with even more scrtches. The other white guy fails to ctch him the third time. then he comes up with bruises and he fails to catch him the 4th time then he comes up almost unconcious. Soon he catches him he asks him” was the bunji too long” then the other guy said “”NO BUT WHATS A FREAKIN PINATA!? ”

Computer scientist Arthur Boran was ecstatic. A few minutes earlier, he had programmed a basic
mathematical problem into his prototypical Akron I computer. His request was simply, "Give me the sum
of every odd number between zero and ten." The computer's quick answer, 157, was unexpected, to say
the least. With growing excitement, Boran requested an explanation of the computer's reasoning. The
printout read as follows: THE TERM "ODD NUMBER" IS AMBIGUOUS. I THEREFORE CHOOSE TO INTERPRET IT AS
MEANING "A NUMBER THAT IS FUNNY LOOKING." USING MY AESTHETIC JUDGEMENT, I PICKED THE NUMBERS 3, 8,
AND 147, ADDED THEM UP, AND GOT 157.
A few moments later there was an addendum: I GUESS I MEANT 158.
Followed shortly thereafter by: 147 IS MORE THAN 10, ISN'T IT? SORRY.
Anyone doing conventional research would have undoubtedly consigned the hapless computer to the scrap
heap. But for Boran, the Akron I's response more...

Italy won the World Cup and now all my Italian-American friends are walking around with Italian flag t-shirts. That damn flag always makes me want pizza.
But whatever your ethnic background, I want you to know that I think it sucks dick and I hate you for being so proud of it. You have no control over your background. I'm Italian myself, but I don't act like it's some kind of an achievment. It's not like I saved up to be Italian. We don't have some story in my family that goes, "Son, when we came to this country, we were Mexicans, but through hard work..."
By the way, Italian-flag-waving-American-imbeciles, Italy fucking hates Italian-Americans. The reason your family came here in the first place was because they didn't want you in Italy. Do you actually think that real Italians are into gold chains and velour sweat suits, you tacky, hairy animals?
Your pal,
Kurt

A big earthquake with the strength of 8. 1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troops to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.

How do you start a Mosh Pit in Mexico?
Throw A Penny.
Who's the richest person in Mexico?
The person who get's the penny.