Michigan Jokes / Recent Jokes
Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: 11, 623 Eskimos Can`t Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It`s A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain`t Everything
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado: If You Don`t Ski, Don`t Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy`s Don`t Own It-Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha`ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave
Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We`re Not, But The Potatoes Sure
Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don`t Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle more...
At U. of Michigan, we used to tell this one about Michigan State, however, any despised college will do.
Bubba, the most popular football player at Michigan State had completed his eligibility, and was set to graduate. The problem was, he had never attended a course, or learned anything. The Dean and football coach wanted to graduate him, however, to stave off student revolt.
Still, they had to have him demonstrate some sort of competence. So, at the graduation ceremony, when Bubba's name was called, he went up to the front.
"Bubba, if you can pass this test, you graduate," said the Dean. "What is two plus two?"
Bubba, thought for awhile, counted on his fingers, and with a puzzled, yet hopeful voice, said, "Duh, four?"
A cry went up in unison from the student body, seated in their caps and gowns: "Aw, give him another chance!"
Editor's Note: Not really all humor, unless you consider grown men in tights slapping each others asses funny...
#1. Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.
' Football is only a game.
Spiritual things are eternal.
Nevertheless, Beat Texas'
#2.' After you retire from football, there's only one big event left... and I ain't ready for that.' Bobby Bowden / Florida State
#3.' The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas
#4.' When you win, nothing hurts.' Joe Namath / Alabama
#5.' Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas
#6.' If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password,' Roll, tide, roll!' Bear Bryant / Alabama
#7.' A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.' Frank Leahy / Notre more...
In Michigan, a couple’s $5,000 wedding ring was swallowed by their pet Pit Bull. The ring was finally retrieved, giving new meaning to the term ‘blood diamond’.
Veteran pitcher Brandon Lyon has agreed to a $4.25 million, one-year contract with the Detroit Tigers. Maybe a Detroit Lyon will finally win a game.
The plan would bail out GM, Ford, Chrysler, and the Lions.