Moose Jokes / Recent Jokes

Alaska
• A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
(O_o)
• Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear for photo opportunities.
(is shooting waking?)
• Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
(but why?)
• In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
• It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
(How did the moose get in the flippin plane?)
• Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.
• Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
• State policy states that emergencies are held to a minimum and rarely found to exist.
(*911* "we are sorry, this number has been disconnected")

Roscoe and his friend went moose hunting every year without success.

Finally, they came up with what they hoped was a foolproof plan. They acquired a very authentic moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then jump out of the costume and shoot the bull.

Setting themselves upon the edge of a clearing in their costume, they began to give the moose "call o'love". Before too long their call was answered by a bull moose some distance away. They called again, and the bull answered from somewhere closer. Again they called, and again the bull answered. Soon he came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

As the bull's pounding hoofbeats got closer, the friend in the front said, "O.K.! Lets get out and shoot him!"

After a moment that seemed like an eternity Roscoe who's in the rear half of the costume shouted, "THE ZIPPER IS STUCK! WHAT ARE WE more...

Every winter, two hunters went moose hunting but never had any success. Finally, they felt they had come up with a foolproof plan. They obtained an authentic looking female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose.
Their plan was to put on the costume, lure the bull, then get out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up at the edge of a clearing, got in the costume and began giving the moose love call.
Before they knew it, their call had been answered and a bull came crashing out of the forest, straight into the clearing. As soon as the bull got close enough, the fellow in the front said, "Now! Let's get out and get him."
After a moment that seemed to last forever, the fellow in the back shouted, "Damn, the zipper's stuck. What do we do now?"
"I'm going to start nibbling the grass," the fellow in front replied, "but you'd better brace yourself!"

Justin Williams told this joke on his Cajun Cooking show:
Two Cajuns, Rober' and Maurice, decided that hunting possums had gotten too dull, so they planned a trip to Canada to shoot moose. They flew in commercial planes all the way to Saskatoon, and from there, they hired a bush pilot to take them in a little plane into moose country.
The pilot put them down in a short little airstrip about 200 kms from nowhere.
"Boys," he said, "I'll be back here at noon in three days. You be right here, and remember that this plane is too small to carry more than the three of us and ONE moose. So, there's no need to hunting more than ONE moose, because you won't be able to take but one out of here."
Robert and Maurice nodded agreement, and off the plane went, leaving the two Cajuns in the wilderness, eager for their hunting expedition.
On the third day, the plane landed at 11: 55 local time, and there beside the airstrip were Robert and Maurice, each more...

Two hunters traveled to Canada to hunt moose. They searched around and found a bush pilot with a good
reputation. They hired him and had him fly them to a cabin located by a small remote lake in the
Northwest Territories. The pilot carefully landed the plane on the lake, and let the two hunters off
at the pier. Over the roar of his engine, the pilot told them, "Now this lake is mighty short, and I
won't have much room to take off, so I can only take out one moose. OK, fellas?"
The hunters readily agreed. The pilot said he would return in one week, turned his plane around, and
flew off.
One week later, the pilot returned. He carefully landed his plane on the lake, pull up to the pier,
and looked out in dismay. There sat the two hunters on the pier, all smiles, with two dead moose. The
pilot shut off his engine, climbed out, and told the hunters, "Listen fellas. I told you, only one
moose."
Both hunters more...

You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when....

You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.

Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito more...

How can a bar tender know which customers like Moose Head?
They're the ones with ankle marks around their hips