Moose Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two newfies were hunting moose in the woods. They shot one on the last day of the hunt. They began to haul the moose out of the woods by the tail. They got to the road and started pulling the moose towards their truck. On the way to the truck they came across another hunter. The hunter asked them why they were pulling the moose by the tail. They simply responded, “We don’t know. ” The other hunter told them that they should pull it by the antlers because it was a lot easier.
The two newfies thanked the man, and began pulling the moose by the antlers. About an hour later, one newfie said to the other, “Bud, this sure is a lot easier pulling it this way, but… why do we keep getting farther and farther away from the truck?? ”

In Fairbanks it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. It is the state policy that emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist. - Sec. 44. 62. 270. State policy. Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

a blonde, a brunette and a redhead all go hunting.
The brunette comes back with a deer.
her father asks "How did you get that deer?"
the brunette replies "I followed the tracks and I followed the tracks and I got the deer."
Next, the redhead comes back with a moose.
her father asks "how did you get that moose!"
the redhead replies "I followed the tracks and I followed the tracks and I got the moose."
Last, the blonde comes crawling home....all beaten up and brused and a few broken arms and legs.
The dad asks "WHAT IN THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU!"
the blonde replies "I followed the tracks and I followed the tracks and I got hit by a train."

Three men took a small plane to the wilderness in northern Canada to hunt moose over the weekend. The last thing the pilot said was, "Remember, this is a very small plane and you will only be able to bring ONE moose back."

But of course, they killed one each and returned to the plane with three moose.

The pilot said: "I have told you to bring one moose only".

"That's what you told us last year," the hunters replied, "but for an additional $100 you allowed us to bring three moose. Here, take $100 now."

The pilot agrees, and lets them bring all three dead moose onboard.

Just after takeoff, the plane stalled and crashed. In the wreckage, one of the men woke up, looked around and said: "Where the hell are we?"

"Oh, just about a hundred yards east of the place where we crashed last year."

A Scotsman was on a fishing trip in the northwoods of Canada. "What`s that over yonder`?" the Scotsman asked of his guide. "That`s a moose, eh," said the guide. "Aye!" exclaimed the Scotsman, with raised eyebrow. "If that be a moose, I`d be sure an to hate to see your rats!"

You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when... You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. The mosquitoes have landing lights. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof. You think the start of moose season is a national holiday. You head south to go to your more...

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.
Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very
authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow
moose.
The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out
of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the
edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the
moose love call.
Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out
of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close
enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him."
After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back
shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"
The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling
grass, but you'd better brace yourself!"