Moose Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is the favorite Christmas story for moose?
A Chrismoose Carol.
Who gives presents to chickens?
Santa Clucks.
Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?
Because it would say "Ba aa aaaa -Humbug!"
What is the favorite Christmas treat for ducks?
Christmas Quackers
Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh and not pigs?
Because when Pigs fly everything that wasn't supposed to happen... does.
What is a dog's favorite Christmas carol?
Bark! The Herald Angels Sing...
What is a monkey's favorite Christmas carol?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells
What is a snake's favorite Christmas carol?
Ssssssssssssssleigh Ride.
Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws!
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross-Mouse cards!
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
Two men go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them: "I'll be back in one week. No more than one moose - got it?"
One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says: "Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose."
One of the hunters replies: "Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a *big* tip to take both moose out."
The three of them argue for several minutes more. After the hunters offer him a large bonus, the pilot gives in and agrees to take both moose.
Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet... Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree.
The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says: "Where the more...
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call.
Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the
guy in front said, "Okay, let¡¯s get out and get him."
After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"
The guy in the front said, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."
These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success.
Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. (emphasis on fool)
They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the
mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.
So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest.
They called again, the bull answered closer to them. They called again, The bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him"!
After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts -
"THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!"
The front guy says, "Well, I'm gonna start nibbling more...
These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success.Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. (emphasis on fool)They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned themating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest.They called again, the bull answered closer to them. They called again, The bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him"! After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts -"THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!"The front guy says, "Well, I'm gonna start nibbling grass, but you better start to "brace more...
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, put on their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but if I were you, I'd brace myself!"