Moses Jokes / Recent Jokes

George W. Bush was standing in an airport lobby when he noticed a man in a long flowing white robe, with long white hair and white beard. The man held a staff in one hand and had some stone tablets under his other arm.
Approaching the man, George W. inquired, "Pardon me, but aren't you Moses?" Ignoring George W., the man stared at the ceiling.
Positioning himself more directly in the man's view, George W. again asked, "Excuse me, aren't you Moses?" Still the man continued staring at the ceiling.
George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once more, "Aren't you Moses?" Finally, the man responded in an aggravated tone, "Yes, I am!"
George W. then asked the man his reason for being so unfriendly and Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a Bush, I ended up spending forty years in the desert."

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times.
Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

George W. Bush was walking through an airport last week, when he saw an old man with white hair, a long white beard, wearing a long white robe and holding a staff. He walked up to the man, who was staring at the ceiling, and "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?"
The man stood perfectly still and continued to stare at the ceiling, saying nothing. Again, George W. asked, a little louder this time, "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?" Again, the old man stared at the ceiling motionless without saying a word. George W. tried a third time, louder yet. "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?" Again, no movement or words from the old man. He continued to stare at the ceiling.
One of George W's aides asked him if there was a problem, and George W. said, "Either this man is deaf or extremely rude. I have asked him three times if he was Moses, and he has not answered me yet." To which the man, still staring at the ceiling finally replied to the aide, "I more...

one day george bush is walking in the mountains and
he sees an old man that looks like moses.so bush calls out "hey there are you moses?.moses doesn't answer.so bush calls out again and again moses does
not answer.so bush sends his bodyguard over to ask moses the same question.so the guard says"um excuse
me but my boss would like to know, are you moses?"
and moses says"listen i'm not talking to him cos the last time i spoke to a bush i was wandering in the desert for 40 years"

Jesus and Moses are playing golf and they're on the tenth hole. Moses hits the ball and it heads straight for a pond. Just before the ball hits the water, the pond parts and the ball rolls up onto the green. Jesus winds up and hits one about to the same spot. Jesus' ball hits the water and skips across. All of a sudden, lightning flashes and a ball drops from the sky. A fish swallows it and a bird picks up the fish and drops the ball onto a turtle that walks over to the hole and drops it in. Moses turns to Jesus and says,' 'I hate it when your dad plays!''

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. (I used this one alot when I was a kid...wait...I still do!)
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. (Used by Bill Clinton...Monica who?)
Moses died before he ever reached the UK. (Lucky for him that is.)
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. (What...they launch their Depends at 'em?)
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. (and still alive and more...

George W. Bush was walking through an airport last week, when he saw
an old man with white hair, a long white beard, wearing a long white
robe and holding a staff. He walked up to the man, who was staring at
the ceiling, and asked, "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?"
The man stood perfectly still and continued to stare at the ceiling,
saying nothing.
Again, George W. asked, a little louder this time, "Excuse me sir,
aren't you Moses?"
Again, the old man stared at the ceiling motionless without saying a
word.
George W. tried a third time, louder yet, "Excuse me sir, aren't you
Moses?"
Again, no movement or words from the old man. He continued to stare at
the ceiling.
One of George W.'s aides asked him if there was a problem, and George
W. said, "Either this man is deaf or extremely rude. I have asked him
three times if he was Moses, and he has not answered me yet."
To which the more...