Movie Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why? Paul Lynde: He's out of town
2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie,' What's The Matter With Helen?' Who plays Helen? Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question
3. What are' dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde: They give milk. .. and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies
4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 5. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him
6. Robert Young recently stated,' I never, never give. ..' something to his fans who ask for it. What? Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy
7. James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one more...
1. Banta in Love
Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her.
He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie....
the Movie came to an End.
A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw,
Banta told himself, "Thank God it was just a movie and not reality."
2. Size - Does it matter?
A young man was so paranoid about the size of his little tool that he could never work up the courage to have sex.
However, when the time goes on he fell in love with a nurse.
One fine evening, the couple went to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom.
Totally scared, he told her of his problem."Don't worry," She said. "I'm a nurse. I won't laugh."
Blushing the man drops his trousers."It's OK," she said. "I've seen lots smaller than this."
"Really?" the relieved man asked.
She nodded. "Yes," she chuckled, more...
My penis is so big, movie theatres now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My penis.
Some possible titles for the new Bill Clinton movie: Dial M for Monica Saving Clinton's Privates All the President's Women The Lying King Free Willy Terms of Impeachment Driving Miss Monica Independent Counsel Day The Six Commandments The Full Monica President on a Hot Tin Roof Red Faced in October Honey, I Shrunk the Presidency Bedtime for Bubba The Me Lie Massacre!
Mel Gibson's new movie "Apocalypto" is about human sacrifice among the ancient Mayans.
It shares some similarities with "The Passion":
1) It takes place a long time ago.
2) The people in it don't speak American.
3) After the movie comes out, Mel will blame all the world's wars on the Mayans after being arrested by a Mayan cop.
4) My grandmother will hate it.
I'm surprised that nobody has posted any jokes regarding this scandal yet.
For anybody overseas, or living in a cave, this woman Heidi ran a brothel that catered to Hollywood's biggest stars, movie executives, and (allegedly) professional sports players.
She got caught, and the whole affair has Hollywood buzzing. There are rumors that the judge is going to subpoena her black book, which contains all of her customers. The press has nicknamed her the "Madam of the stars."
Because of her sudden fame, she is selling interviews, pictures, etc. (She is a prostitute after all...) I heard these prices on the radio this morning.
The movie rights to her life story, including the scandal, will be sold for $1 million dollars. (This is a very high price for movie rights, but many of the top movie executives will willingly pay more for the story, to make sure that they are NOT portrayed in the movie!)
A picture of the COVER of her black book, listing her clients, sells more...