NBC Jokes / Recent Jokes

Today I learned Andy Samberg of SNL fame is dating Kirsten Dunst aka Marie Antoinette, Queen of Lame. Uncool Andy. Why won't you return my calls? Also uncool. (quickly IMDBs Kirsten Dunst) Well, have fun Bringing it On in Elizabethtown while this Crazy/Beautiful Mona Lisa is NOT Smiling. Enjoy your constant Interview with a snaggletoothed Vampire. Why can't you be MY Spider Man for once? Am I not Drop Dead Gorgeous? Why do you have to be such a Dick? You told me I was The Cat's Meow! Did you catch the US Open last week at Wimbledon? Me either. Anyway, Im gonna go play Jumanji with some Little Women. Oh, and thanks for leaving me Fifteen and Pregnant. I'll Get Over It.
Deeply,
Deanna

Angry activists are calling for the retirement of Ronald McDonald,calling him an unhealthy clown,with far too much influence..............or was that the article I read on Leno?

And in other news, Japan's famed caricature artist Takamashi Muhara suffered a stroke while trying to trace a typical Japanese tourist's face today. He also found out that he no longer has a 401K plan.

Rush Limbaugh has challenged MSNBC to go thirty days without mentioning his name. MSNBC responded by challenging Rush to go thirty days without visiting a Krispy Kreme store.

Despite low ratings, there appears to be a clear winner in this summer's America's Got Talent. It's Sonia Sotomayor.

Kayne was on Jay Leno last night trying to apologize about the VMA incident involving Taylor Swift, but right in the middle of his apology..SC Representative Joe Wilson interupted him yelling, "YOU LIAR!"

Political pundit Tucker Carlson recently went on CNN to comment on comedian Jon Stewart's blasting of CNBC, calling him a "partisan hack" and predicting that Stewart would become "so self-serious and sanctimonious that it's just a matter of time before he becomes unfunny."
Tucker Carlson is of course the former co-host of the CNN program "Crossfire," which had Stewart as a guest back in 2004. During his segment, Stewart had chastised Tucker for his own contribution to political discourse in this country, and also called him, to paraphrase: "a dick in a bowtie."
And the award for Swiftest Comeback goes to...