Navy Jokes / Recent Jokes
This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval
Operations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS
#1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."
#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."
#1: "This is the captain of a U. S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
#2: "No, I say again divert YOUR course."
#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U. S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"
#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son? ”
“My father said it'd be a good idea, sir. ”
“Oh? And what does your father do? ”
“He's in the Army, sir. ”
Q: Why did the Navy switch to liquid soap?
A: It's harder to pick up.
SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING 1. ENTHUSIASM 2. DISILUSIONMENT 3. PANIC 4. SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY 5. PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT 6. PRAISE AND HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS
An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!"
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase "secure the building". The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they dont speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase "secure the building". The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.