Navy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Do you know why Iraq's navy has glass bottomed ships?
A: So the sailors can see their air force!

Q: Do you know why Iraq's navy has glass bottomed ships? A: So the sailors can see their air force!

The old Navy Chief finally retired and got that chicken ranch he always wanted. He took
with him his life-long pet parrot.First morning at 0430, the parrot squawked loudly and said, “Reveille, Reveille. Up all
hands. Heave out and trice up. The smoking lamp is lighted, now Reveille.”The old chief told the parrot, “We are no longer in the Navy. Go back to sleep.”The next morning, the parrot did the same thing. Chief told the parrot, “If you keep this up, I'll put you out in the chicken pen.”Again the parrot did it, and true to his word, the Chief put the parrot in the chicken pen.About 0630 the next morning, the Chief was awakened by one heck of a ruckus in the chicken pen. He went out to see what was the matter. The parrot had about 40 white chickens at attention in formation, and on the ground laid 3 bruised and beaten brown chickens. The parrot was saying, “By God, when I say fall out in dress whites, I don't
mean Khakis!”

A navy seals and a marine walk into a restroom they both use the restroom. The navy seal washed his hands and the marine just walked out. The navy seal walks to him and says "In the navy they teach us to wash our hands."

The marine says, "In the marines the teach us not to piss on our hands."

Q. Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottomed boats?A. So they can steer clear of the old Italian Navy.

The British Military writes EPRs and officer fitness reports. The form used for Royal Navy and
Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are ACTUAL EXCERPTS taken from people's
"206's"....
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
I would not breed from this Officer.
This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in
there.
He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
Technically sound, but socially impossible.
This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but
not really going anywhere.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has more...

Not sure how it ever got started, but a tradition in the Navy is all of the
pilots dance with the Wing Commander's wife. I walked over at a dance once and asked if she'd like to dance and she said, “I don't dance with a child.”I smiled, bowed, and replied, “Oh! I'm sorry. If I'd known your condition, I
wouldn't have asked.”