Navy Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat."My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?""Yes," said the Navy brat."My dad has built them."Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?""Yes.""It's my dad who's killed it!"

An Army guy and a Navy guy found themselves in a public restroom.
As the Army guy was walking out, the Navy guy said, while
washing his hands,
"In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands before leaving the
restroom." Then the Army guy replied,
"Well, in the Army, they teach us not to pee on our hands!"

Q. How did they advertise surplus W. W. II Italian rifles for sale?
A. "Never fired, and only dropped once."
Q. Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottomed boats?
A. So they can steer clear of the old Italian Navy.
Q. Why is Italian bread so long?
A. So they can dip it into the sewer.
Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different?
A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.
Q. Who really killed John F. Kennedy?
A. Two hundred Italian sharpshooters.
Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business?
A. Usually through the skylight...
RAINY web

This is one that I picked up off a bathroom wall while I was in the Navy.
I fucked in France,
I fucked in Spain.
I fucked up and down
the coast of Maine.
But I'll never be happy
I'll nerve be free.
Till I fucked the Navy
like the Navy fucked me.

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
“My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps? ”
“Yes, ” said the Navy brat.
“My dad has built them. ”
Then the naval kid spoke: “And do you know the Dead Sea? ”
“Yes. ”
“It’s my dad who’s killed it! ”

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they`re the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I`d like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It`d kill me, you idiot! I`m out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

Did you hear about the Polish Navy's tragic accident?
A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start
their new submarine.