Nephew Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old man died and left his talking parrot to his nephew.

Unfortunately, the old man's language was not the cleanest, and it would seem that the parrot picked up on this. The nephew did not like this, and tried to break the parrot of its swearing habit. He tried everything. He played religious music, he was kind to the bird, he spent long hours trying to teach it manners. Finally, one day, he became so frustrated, he threw the parrot into the freezer.

"There," he said. "Maybe he'll cool off in there."

For the first few seconds, the parrot swore a blue streak inside that freezer. Then, suddenly, the parrot fell silent.

A few moments later, the nephew heard from within the freezer, "If you would be so kind as to let me out, I promise to rectify my unsavory vocabulary."

Shocked and surprised, the nephew quickly opened the door and removed the chilly but sedate bird. Before he could say anything, more...

An old man died and left his talking parrot to his nephew. Unfortunately, the old man's language was not the cleanest, and it would seem that the parrot picked up on this. The nephew did not like this, and tried to break the parrot of its swearing habit. He tried everything. He played religious music, he was kind to the bird, he spent long hours trying to teach it manners. Finally, one day, he became so frustrated, he threw the parrot into the freezer." There," he said. "Maybe he'll cool off in there." For the first few seconds, the parrot swore a blue streak inside that freezer. Then, suddenly, the parrot fell silent. A few moments later, the nephew heard from within the freezer, "If you would be so kind as to let me out, I promise to rectify my unsavory vocabulary." Shocked and surprised, the nephew quickly opened the door and removed the chilly but sedate bird. Before he could say anything, however, the parrot spoke." If you don't mind, may I ask more...

Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that hed have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. "How come?," his nephew asked."My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained."Grounded?" the little boy said. "I didnt know planes had parents."

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things chickens, cows, crops, etc.

After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?"

This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.

After a few hours, the nephew returned.

"How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.

"It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs?"

Uncle Hubert noticed that his nephew Johnny was watching him the whole time.
' Why are you always looking at me? ' he asked.
' I was just wondering when you were going to do your trick,' replied Johnny.
' What trick?' enquired Uncle Hubert.
' Well, mum and dad say you drink like a fish.'

Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he'd have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. "How come?," his nephew asked."My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained."Grounded?" the little boy said. "I didn't know planes had parents."

A man was visiting his sister and her husband who lived on a farm in a poor district of the country. Since they had limited accommodations, he had to sleep with his young nephew.
When he entered the bedroom, he saw his small nephew kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
His nephew looked over and asked, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, I'm doing the same thing you're doing," replied the uncle.
"Ma's going to be mad," the nephew said. "The pot's on this side!"