Nicole Jokes / Recent Jokes

According to BBC News, Nicole Kidman didn't need an annulment from Tom Cruise in order to marry Keith Urban in a Catholic Church-since Kidman and Cruise were wed in a Scientology ceremony, they were not officially married by Catholic Church standards.
Other couples not married by Catholic Church standards include:

Joseph and Hadassah Lieberman,
Osama Bin Laden and his wives Fatima, Barakah, and Ghuynda,
Sir Elton John and David Furnish,
Genghis and Mrs. Khan,
and panda bears Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing.

A team of doctors have been trying to help Nicole Richie and her "inability" to gain weight. After days of confusion, the team of nutrition specialists concluded that she should eat foods rather than cocaine and vodka.

According to ABC News, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were spotted together at an L.A. steakhouse.
"We're still not speaking or anything," said Nicole. "We had just both stopped in to throw up."

On September 7th Anna Nicole gave birth to a healthy 6 pound, 9 ounce baby girl. On September 18th Anna announced the newborns engagement to 57 year old oil tycoon Jimmy Biggs. The pair have set a spring wedding.

Anna Nicole Smith's boyfriend Howard K. Stern and two doctors were charged with giving thousands of prescription drugs to the former Playboy Playmate. Yesterday Rush Limbaugh posted bond for Stern and hired him as his housekeeper.

When asked to comment on Anna Nicole Smith's pregnancy, Hugh Hefner, her former boss, expressed shock, saying "I didn't know she went vag!"

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie ended their feud, saying that friendship is much more important than not making a fifth season of The Simple Life.
Damn. I was kind of hoping that when they burried the hatchet, it'd be in each other's foreheads.