Obsessed Jokes / Recent Jokes
A chief of a small island nation was obsessed with the English royalty, and his hobby was collecting thrones. He had wooden ones by the dozen stacked in the upper section of his giant grass covered palace that had many rooms for him and his cabinet. One day, his people presented him with a large stone throne and he had his servants carry it to the upper floor of his hut and he put it in the center of all the wooden thrones. The king was very happy. That evening he rushed home from the hard day of being sovereign, dashed upstairs and flopped into the new throne. When this happened the floor gave away and all the thrones came tumbling down bringing the building with them.
Moral: PEOPLE IN GRASS HOUSES SHOULDN`T STOW THRONES.
Q. Why do men find blonde bimbos attractive? A. Are you kidding? Even leaving the physical aside, blonde bimbos are generally much easier to get along (alone) with. They like having fun and doing exciting things. They don't walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. They don't ever give us a hard time for being a dumb male; and plus they laugh at most of our jokes (even the ones they don't get). What more could any of us males ask for? Q. Why are men so obsessed with beautiful women? A. As opposed to what? Really ugly women? Face it, if men were obsessed with ugly women, there would be just as much bitching about why men are obsessed with ugly women. No matter how you set this up, some people are always going to be left out. I don't see anyone screaming about equal treatment for the stupid people either.Q. Why do men like younger women? A. Well, let's see. Besides the fact that they like older men, they're easily impressed. They're also perky, energetic, and come more...
ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
ADA: A Dumb Acronym
ADA: A Dumb Annoyance
BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
BASIC: Beginner's Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion
C: Crud
C: Confusing
COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
COBOL: Crap Operated By Obsessed lunatics
COBOL: Crap Often Bothers Our Lethargy
COBOL: Crap Ostracized By Our Loathing
COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics
FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland
LISP: Lots of Insanely Stupid Parentheses
LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses
PASCAL: Programmers Against more...
ADA: A Dumb ArrangementADA: A Dumb AcronymADA: A Dumb AnnoyanceBASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic CodersBASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical CodeBASIC: Beginner's Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite ConfusionC: CrudC: ConfusingCOBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused LanguageCOBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated LanguageCOBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated LanguagesCOBOL: Crap Operated By Obsessed lunaticsCOBOL: Crap Often Bothers Our LethargyCOBOL: Crap Ostracized By Our LoathingCOBOL: Compiles Only Because Of LuckCOBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized LanguageCOBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed LunaticsFORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverlandLISP: Lots of Insanely Stupid ParenthesesLISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous ParenthesesPASCAL: Programmers Against Structured Code And Language
Programming language acronymsADA: A Dumb Arrangement
ADA: A Dumb Acronym
ADA: A Dumb Annoyance
BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
BASIC: Beginner`s Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion
C: Crud
C: Confusing
COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
COBOL: Crap Operated By Obsessed lunatics
COBOL: Crap Often Bothers Our Lethargy
COBOL: Crap Ostracized By Our Loathing
COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics
FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland
LISP: Lots of Insanely Stupid Parentheses
LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous more...
Three women attend a group therapy session with their kids to find out about their obsessions and how to get over them.
The therapist says that determining their obsession is easy. She turns to the first woman and says "
you are obsessed with money because you named your child Penny. You fear not having enough of it."
The therapist turns to the second woman and says "
you are obsessed with sweets because you named your child Sugar. You must also crave sweets and not get enough of it."
By now the third woman has heard enough and thinks this is all BS so she turns to her son and says "
come on Dick we are leaving."