Opera Jokes / Recent Jokes
When He Says - He Really Means ------------ - ---------------- Do you have the time? - to go to bedHello - Let's cut the talk and go have sex. How are you? - in bed, I mean. I'd like a discreet relationship. - I want sex, but I'm married. I'll be out of town for a few days. - I'll be spending time with with the wife. I'm a novelist. - I have 10 unpublished books. I'm coming off a long relationship. - My wife is divorcing me. I'm consulting. - I'm looking for a job. I'm divorced. - I just slipped off my wedding ring. I'm in television. - I fix them. I'm involved in banking. - I'm a bank guard. I'm self-employed. - I just got fired. I'm sorry I flirted with your sister. - I'm sorry I got caught. I'm thinking of relocating. - I can't find a job locally in this town. I can't leave my wife just yet.. soon. - Be patient forever. I enjoy reading. - Playboy and Penthouse. I have the Midas touch. - I install mufflers. I like a woman who is intelligent. - As long as she acts like I'm smarter. I more...
Cincinnati welcomed the opera to town. Then they realized it was just Chad Johnson saying, "me-me-me-me-me".
What is Martha Stewarts favorite new soap opera?
One Life To Shiv!
ACCIDENTALS: Wrong notes (played on purpose...?).
AUGMENTED FIFTH: A 36-ounce bottle
BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the restroom.
CADENCE: When everybody hopes you're going to stop - but you don't
CADENZA: The heroine in Monteverdi's opera "Frottola"
CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
CHANSONS DE GESTE: Dirty songs
CLAUSULA: Mrs. Santa
CROTCHET: A tritone with a bent prong or...
CROTCHET: It's like knitting but it's faster
CUT TIME: When you're going twice as fast as everybody else in the ensemble.
DUCTIA: A lot of mallards
EMBOUCHRE: The way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn
ESTAMPIE: What they put on letters in Quebec
GARGLEFINKLEIN: A tiny recorder played by neums
HOCKET: The thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett
INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three kinds:
Major Interval: A more...