Opinion Jokes / Recent Jokes
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"The Saudi says, "What's a shortage?"The Russian says, "What's meat?"The North Korean says, "What's an opinion?"The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me? What's excuse me?"
These four guys were walking down the street; a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says, "What's 'shortage'?"
The Russian says, "What's 'meat'?"
The North Korean says, "What's 'opinion'?"
The New Yorker, says, "'Excuse me'? What's 'excuse me'?"
If athletes get athlete's foot, astronauts get missile toe.
A bird dog could be called a point setter.
James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus in his novel The
Deer Sleigher.
What's the difference between a one-winged angel and a two-winged angel?
It's a matter of a pinion!
It's a matter of my opinion that Yule love the game we're about to play.
In each sentence below, fill in the blank or blanks with an expression
commonly used at Christmastide. Answers repose at the end of this column.
1. On December 24, Adam's wife was known as _____ _____.
2. In Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Scrooge was visited by the ghost
of _____ _____.
3. An opinion survey in Alaska is called a _____ _____.
4. What does Santa Claus do with his three gardens? _____, _____, _____
5. What Christmas message is conveyed by these letters?:
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. _____, _____
6. more...
It's a matter of opinion that Yule love the game we're about to
play. In each sentence below, fill in the blank or blanks with an
expression commonly used at Christmastide.
1. On December 24, Adam's wife was known as _____ _____.
2. In Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Scrooge was visited
by the ghost of _____ _____.
3. An opinion survey in Alaska is called a _____ _____.
4. What does Santa Claus do with his three gardens? _____, _____,
_____.
5. What Christmas message is conveyed by these letters?
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. _____,
_____
6. When the salt and the pepper say "Hi!" to each other, they are
passing on _____ _____.
7. A holy man bereft of change could be called _____ _____.
8. When you cross a sheep with a cicada, you get a _____ _____.
9. A quiet medieval armor-wearer is a _____ _____.
10. A cat walking on the desert is bound to get _____ more...
Kosher Millionaire
You have been selected to play "So You Wouldn't Mind Being a Kosher Millionaire...You Should Only Live So Long." You have three lifelines to help you, as follows:
1. You may call a Rabbi for his opinion.
2. You may ask the congregation for their opinion.
3. You may consider your spouse's opinion... or not.
Bonus lifeline! Whether you ask for it or not, your Mother will give you her opinion.
Lets play...
For $100
Q. What is the name of the Russian Space Station that crashed and burned on re-entry?
A. Oy Vey is Mir
For $200
Q. How does a Jewish woman call her family to dinner?
A. All right, everybody get in the car.
For $500
Q. Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?
A. Netanyahoo.
For $1,000
Q. What is the name of a facial lotion made for Jewish women?
A. Oil of Oy Vey.
For $2,000
Q. What is the title of the new horror film for Jewish women?
A. Debbie Does more...
My friend married a doctor. At a certain point he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making". Shortly thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M. D. "Why?" asked her hubby. "You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making; I just wanted to get a Second Opinion", she told him.
Patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor...
Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out. Patient: I wanna second opinion! Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too!