Painter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A painter had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings he had created.
He worked day and night, stopping only occasionally for something to eat. He thought little about food and less about sleep. But what he thought about least of all was his rent.
As a result, his landlord now stood before him, demanding the three months' rent the painter owed on the loft.
"Give me a couple of weeks," teh painter pleaded. "I know I'm on the verge of making some sales."
"Absolutely not," the landlord said. "You gave me that story last month. You won't get another day's credit from me."
"Look," the painter said, "think of it as an investment. Someday this loft will be famous, and you'll be able to charge a fortune for it.
In a few years, people will come into this disgusting loft and whisper, 'That great painter used to paint here.'"
"Pay your rent now," the landlord more...

A painter was asked how the visitors to his new exhibition liked the paintings.
They were divided into 2 groups, said the painter, half said it was a complete waste of paint and the other half said it was a complete waste of canvas.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the
first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!".
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!".
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!".
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?".
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!"The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!"The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?""I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

There is an apartment an in there lived an old couple, a painter, a blind guy, and a hot chick.
One day the chickk went to get into the shower and heard a knock at the door and looked thru the hole in the door and it wa sthe old couple; she puts on her bathrobe and opens the door, and they say congratulate us we got married!
The chick congradulates them and gos to get back in the shower. She hears another knock on the door and looks thru the hole again and it was the painter he says cogradgulate me I just finished another painting!
She congradulates him on goes to get back in the shower and hears another knock on the door. it is the blind guy; she figures she did not need the bathrobe this time. She opens the door and he says congradulate me I can see!

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!". In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!". The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!". The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?". "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."