Painter Jokes / Recent Jokes
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In thefirst room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!". In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!". The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!". The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?". " I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."
There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight. She went to see the best eye surgeon in the world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored.
The painter was so grateful she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office. Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: The doctor's office.
During the press conference, a reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly-painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"
To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself 'Thank the Lord I'm not a gynaecologist.'"
Which painter always had a very bad cold? Vincent Van Cough
And now for a joke (that I probably heard here):
There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career,
she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose
her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the
world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her
eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she
decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.
Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to
unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office. During the
press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and
asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your
newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"
To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself
'Thank God I'm not a gynecologist.'
A church congregation sent out requests to all the professional painters listed in their local Yellow Pages, requesting a bid on a price to repaint their church building. Almost all of the painters were within a few dollars of their competition, as expected, with the exception of one well-known, well-established, local company, which had been in business for years and had an excellent reputation in the community. This particular painter's bid was about half of what his competitions had bid, and naturally, was selected by the congregation to do the job.On the morning the job began, the painter realized that he had underbid the job by 50%! Not wanting to lose the job, he decided to thin the paint out with water, so he would be able to complete the job for the price quoted.One week later, he received a call from the priest, explaining that after the first rain, half of the paint had washed off the church. The painter returned, looked at the building, and sure enough, the job was ruined. more...