Paris Hilton Jokes / Recent Jokes
Paris Hilton will no longer be associated with Club Paris nightclubs, according to the venues' owner, Fred Khalilian. The club name will now refer to the French capital instead of the One Night in Paris star, whom Khalilian described as having "created a circus for herself. It's all about, how has she screwed up now?" Khalilian went on to say "I regret seeing this change in her. I pine for the days when she was famous for her amazing philanthropic endevours and not her new image as an exhibitionist, spoiled, rich, slut."
The National Spelling Bee is taking place this week in Washington D.C. Believe it or not, Paris Hilton competed in the bee when she was in the eighth grade. Unfortunately, she was eliminated in the first round when she misspelled "STD".
68% of women said they would give up sex, if they could have perfect hair forever.
(Burt Convey pre'Win,Lose or Draw' days).
How bad is your hair that your sex life comes in second? Can't you have good hair and have an overly active sex life?
(Paris Hilton pre'Give up sex for a year' days.)
Many famous people have had perfectly regular lives with not so perfect hair.
(Men at Work pre'Who Can It Be Now?' days.)
and......
(Margaret Cho pre'Shitty Comedy Central Presents' days)
but does not include....
(Unknown kid with parents that take pictures when their kids are traumatized, instead of comforting them.)
I just think that you shouldn't have to give up something important to attempt to improve yourself. Be happy with who you are and the person you can become, because if we aren't, someone out there will just attempt to make money just copying a bad hairstyle in an attempt to get recognition.
... too late.
Hilton Double Booked
Doctors currently treating Paris Hilton for a mystery illness have discovered a new condition that occurs when a women sleeps with more men then their genitals can handle. Doctors have named this condition, "Parisitus," a situation where all muscles begin to collapse and gradually make the vagina resemble the mask from the movie "Scream."
...Paris Hilton was a contestant in National Spelling Bee when she was in the 8th grade. Or as Paris fondly remembers, "the best 4 years of my life."
No injurys were reported to her dignity or personality due to her having none
Recently in People magazine I read Paris Hilton's quote in reference to her new CD: "it's so good when I hear it I, like, cry". I never thought I'd agree on anything with Paris Hilton but I'm sure if I heard the CD I would, like, cry too. In other pop culture news...government officials have finally found a use for Rosie O'Donnell's TV movie "Riding The Bus With My Sister" in which she plays a mildly retarded woman and co-stars with Andie Mcdowell. Apparently the film is being used to torture inmates at Guantamano Bay and is proving extremely useful.