Paris Hilton Jokes / Recent Jokes

In an interview with GQ Britain, Paris Hilton vowed to remain celibate, saying "I'm not having sex for a year.... I'll kiss, but nothing else."
According to World Health Organization officials, "this should free up enough medicine to cure AIDS throughout Sub-Saharan Africa."
In a related story, Nicole Ritchie continues her hunger strike.

Also not hot, according to Paris: apostrophes, contractions, irony.

Breathalyzer test shows 0.09 blood-alcohol level, 3.7 sperm level.

According to the Hong Kong Associated Press, Paris Hilton plans to release a new album. She says her upcoming album will be a mix of reggae, pop, hip hop... and CRAP. The first single will be a reggae song called "Stars Are Blind." Especially the ones that hang out with her.

Hasbro has announced the updated version of the popular board game Clue, featuring new rooms and new weapons. The new rooms include the home theatre and spa. The new weapons include a baseball bat, to bludgeon to death, an axe, to hack to death, and Paris Hilton, to bore you to death.

In celebrity news, Paris Hilton was sentenced to jail yesterday, but she won't begin serving her sentence until June 5th. Apparently, the judge wants all the inmates to have enough time to double-up on their Hepatitis B shot.

Paris Hilton has just been sentenced to serve 45 days in jail for probation violation.


After all these years, someone will finally be giving'prison sex' a bad name.