Parody Jokes / Recent Jokes
The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss
I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a limo, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!
When I came home, I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.
My friend, he took me for a ride.
All through LA, from side to side.
From north to south, we took a ride.
But from the cops we could not hide.
My trial lasted for a year.
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!
The circus-hype the viewers saw!
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
Did you do this awful crime?
Did you do this anytime?
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, more...
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and dropped his fly and said, "Do ya wanna?"
Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun,
but Jack forgot his condom, and now they have a son.
1> Happy Birthday, Blow-Up Wanda!
2> Mean Old Whore
3> She'll Show You for a Quarter
4> Outhouse Over Easy
5> The Surprise Under Junior's Mattress
6> That's Not the Avon Lady, Mrs. Buttafuoco
7> Shaving Grandma's Corns
8> "I'll give you something to cry about!"
9> A Slight Miss at the Bris Stablehand
10> Nude Descending My Torso
11> Sniper at the Mall
12> "Get off my lawn, damn it!"
13> Domestic Partner Marriage License
14> Darius's First L.A.P.D. Beating
15> Rover Leaves a Gift Under the Christmas Tree
16> Billy Gets Tubes In His Ears
17> Billy Gets To 3rd Base
18> Mad Dog!
19> Still Life with Axe: the Artist's Wife and the
20> Whiskers Visits the Bird Shop
21> Detective Fuhrman Finds Some Evidence
22> Building Pipe Bombs With more...
Friends are like wedgies...
They know your inner self,
They're intimately close,
And it feels great when you pick out a good one!
REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.
'It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth', said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates,' It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone'.
Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the White House with U.S. President Bill Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes will be' minimal'. The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public offering is planned for July of next year, and the federal government is expected to be profitable by' Q4 1999 at latest', according to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer.
In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had' willingly and enthusiastically' accepted a position as a more...
Y2K Solution:' Millenium Year Application Software System' (MYASS)
We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as:' Millenium Year Application Software System' (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 am there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. As for the status of implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects, so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands. Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it.
Just this morning, I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS.
I've noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS. more...