Pedestrian Jokes / Recent Jokes

The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky? " The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.""I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.""On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.""I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight""I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any more...

I read in a Reuters newswire from May 10 that police in Biddeford, Main had arrested a couple of men for driving by and strafing a pedestrian with doughnut holes!
Chris Roy, 19, and Christopher Cote, 20 said they normally just attack street signs and weren't sure why this time they went for a pedestrian.
"It seems they like to buy (doughnuts) just so they can throw them," said police Sergeant J.P. Morin.
He wasn't sure if they were fresh or stale, but said "I suppose a piece of dough thrown from a car would be pretty hard."