Penis Jokes / Recent Jokes

FUNNY PENIS SAYS TO HIS TWO BALLS"i will take you to a party tonite.Two balls replied"you bloody fucking liar you always get inside and leave us out"

There is this guy who really takes care of his body. He lifts weights and jogs six miles every day.One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body and notices that he is suntanned all over with the one exception of his penis, which he readily decides to do something about.He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he leaves sticking out.Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, she begins to move it around with the cane. Remarking to the other little old lady, she says, "There is really no justice in the world."The other little old lady says, "What do you mean by that?"The first little old lady says, "Look at that - When I was 20 - I was curious about it. When I was 30 - I enjoyed it. When I was 40 - I asked for it. When I was 50 - I paid for it. When I was 60 - I prayed for it. When I was 70 - I forgot about it. more...

Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of their decisions.

God created Adam and informed him that he had given him a brain and a penis. The brain was a good gift as it allowed him to do many things.The penis was also a good thing as it allowed the race to continue. The problem was that God had only given Adam enough of a blood supply so that he could only use one of them at a time.Men are naturally competitive. Even in the Garden of Eden, Adam was afraid Eve would like the snake's fruit better than his.

What's the difference between a penis and a dog?
The dog will stop coming if you beat it

Robert walked into Dr. Philips' office and put a note on the desk in front of the doctor. The doctor picked up the note and read it, "Please help me, I can't talk."
Thinking for a few moments, the doctor turned to Robert and told him to put his penis on the table. Knowing that Dr. Philips was a specialist, Robert did as instructed.
The doctor then took a rubber mallet and struck Robert's penis with it as hard as he could. Robert yelled out in agony, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
"Excellent Robert," Dr. Philips said, "now you come back tomorrow and we'll learn B."

Whats the difference between a penis and a prick?
A penis is sexually satisfying; a prick is the guy it belongs to!