Perverse Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Perverse Guide to Getting Hired
by Alan Meiss, [email protected]
Chapter 1 - The Resume
Your resume is a crucial document that summarizes the
essence of your being to a potential employer. You must grab
a personnel director's attention with your sheer, overpowering
wonderfulness, or your vitae will wind up lining the bottom of
her parakeet's cage. Write a boring resume and you might as well
run down now and join the other unemployed grads behind the
appliance store, fighting for the choicest refigerator carton to
live in.
To grab an employer's jaded eye you must create the written
equivalent of a banshee wail! Print your resume on hunter's
orange paper, so it nearly leaps out of the stack. Experiment
with striking fonts, and use as many as possible. Writing your
name in 2 inch high 3-D Western style letters at the top says
"Check ME out! I'm no shrinking violet!" Sprinkle a bit of your
most more...
The Perverse Guide To Getting HiredChapter 1 - The Resume Your resume is a crucial document that summarises theessence of your being to a potential employer. You must graba personnel director's attention with your sheer, overpoweringwonderfulness, or your vitae will wind up lining the bottom ofher parakeet's cage. Write a boring resume and you might as wellrun down now and join the other unemployed grads behind theappliance store, fighting for the choicest refrigerator carton tolive in. To grab an employer's jaded eye you must create the writtenequivalent of a banshee wail! Print your resume on hunter'sorange paper, so it nearly leaps out of the stack. Experimentwith striking fonts, and use as many as possible. Writing yourname in 2 inch high 3-D Western style letters at the top says"Check ME out! I'm no shrinking violet!" Sprinkle a bit of yourmost sensual cologne on the sheet, and ladies, be sure to add agood lipstick smooch mark at the bottom. Don't forget yourpicture, more...
The Perverse Guide To Getting HiredChapter 1 - The Resume Your resume is a crucial document that summarises theessence of your being to a potential employer. You must graba personnel director's attention with your sheer, overpoweringwonderfulness, or your vitae will wind up lining the bottom ofher parakeet's cage. Write a boring resume and you might as wellrun down now and join the other unemployed grads behind theappliance store, fighting for the choicest refrigerator carton tolive in. To grab an employer's jaded eye you must create the writtenequivalent of a banshee wail! Print your resume on hunter'sorange paper, so it nearly leaps out of the stack. Experimentwith striking fonts, and use as many as possible. Writing yourname in 2 inch high 3-D Western style letters at the top says"Check ME out! I'm no shrinking violet!" Sprinkle a bit of yourmost sensual cologne on the sheet, and ladies, be sure to add agood lipstick smooch mark at the bottom. Don't forget yourpicture, more...