Pharmacy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers.The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at therubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goesinto the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what elsedo you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that Ihave are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know whatthese will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make agoat jump about two feet off of the ground!"

There once was an old man who was loved by everyone in the town where he lived. When he died, they buried him at a scenic location along a river. A few days later there was a great rain storm and the river flood coffin was carried along the river in to the town. The casket flowed down the street past the supermarket and the school all the way into the pharmacy. It slid right in to the pharmacy and onto the counter. The lid popped open and the old man sat up and asked the pharmacist, "Do you have anything to stop this coffin?"

A middle aged woman is hitchhiking along a highway. A guy in an 18 wheeler stops for her and shouts "Come on in!".
The two of them are going down the highway, and this woman starts to fiddle with the glove compartment, when all of the sudden a box of condoms fall out.
"What are these?" she asks.
"Uh... Well... They are... Uh... A new type of cigarette filter" the truck driver replies.
"Ahh... I See... Interesting... Well, What do you call em?"
"They are called rubbers, because they are made out of latex rubber.."
"And Where can you get these things?"
"You can get them at any pharmacy."
He lets her off at the next town, and she stops at the local pharmacy. "I'd like to buy a box of rubbers please" She asks the pharmacist. "Ok. What size would you like?"
"Big enough to fit a Camel".

A 25-year-old man walks up to a pharmacy counter and asks for condoms.
The clerk at the counter asks, "What size are you?"
25 man: I didn't know you had sizes. I'm not sure.
She puts her hand down his pants, feels it, and gets on the intercom: I NEED LARGE CONDOMS TO THE PHARMACY COUNTER, LARGE CONDOMS TO THE PHARMACY COUNTER, THANK YOU.
10 minutes later a 50-year-old man walks up to the counter and asks for condoms.
Clerk: What size are you?
50 yr old: I didn't know you had sizes. I'm not sure.
Clerk: Well, I'll feel it and get the right size for you. She puts her hand down his pants, feels it, and gets on the intercom: I NEED EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY COUNTER, EXTRA LARGE CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY COUNTER, THANK YOU.
Next a 16-year-old boy walks up to the counter and asks for condoms. Clerk: What size do you want? 16 yr boy: Gosh lady, I didn't know you had sizes. I don't know what size I am. Clerk: Well, I'll feel it and get more...

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking
a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into
her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her
cigarette and continued to smoke. Sort of a raincoat for her
cigarette.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is it
that you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase
condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown,
the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked
the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but
looked a little surprised that this old lady was interested in
condoms, but he asked her, "What size do you want?"
The old lady thought for a minute and then said, more...

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he spoke to said she was the pharmacist and she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.

The man said it was something he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

The man agreed and began, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister." When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 more...

A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls abeat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist howmuch it would cost to repair the condom. The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spotwelding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, hecould sell the private a new one. The private said, "Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back intwo hours with an answer." Two hours later, The Scotsman returns and says:"The regiment has voted to replace."