Pharmacy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks agoand has done for several years. The pharmacist asks man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product.The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety.The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push up bottom to use."

(From: Greg Ryding)
Time: Early Sixties. Place: Yourtown, USA
A young unmarried couple decides after a few dates that
they are going to sleep together. So, the guy, Tom, goes to
the local pharmacy to buy some condoms.
Tom goes up to the pharmacy counter and asks the
pharmacist for some Trojans, (just like the kid in Summer of
'42). The pharmacist looks at Tom disgustedly and says,
"What's wrong with you kids today, ya go on two dates and you
wanna go to bed with each other. Why can't ya save sex for
when ya get married. You should wait until you're married!
Sex before marriage is a sin ya know."
Well Tom calmed down the pharmacist and explained that
his generation was a little different. He said that he and
his girlfriend were just trying to act responsibly and take
precautions against pregnancy and disease. The pharmacist
conceded that times were changing and finally sold him more...

A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating
with the pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf.
Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the
counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it.
The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf-mute, and then picks
up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket.
Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign
language.
"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."

Man standing was the pharmacy counter finishing up on his purchase, while the next lady in line keeps coming up to the counter thinking the gentlemen was finished.
Finally, he moves to the side to allow the impatient lady to come to the counter.
She rushes the pharmacist asking "Are you a pharmacist?
He said "Yes I am."
"Will you please tell me something about viagra?" she asked.
The pharmacist said "I would be glad to. Well it a prescription medication used for men who are having sexual problems. Your doctor has to write a prescription for this medication."
He also further states "Its a great medication, I even take it at times."
The lady then interrupts to ask "Can get it over the counter?"
"If I take two."

A blonde goes to a Pharmacy and she looks all around looking for "Bottom Deodarant". she cant find it, so she askes the cashier and the cashier says that they dont sell "Bottom deodarandt" here. the blonde says that she got the deodarant here last time, i will prove it to you! so she goes out to her car and gets the deodarent and goes back into the Pharmacy. the cashier looks closely at the deodarant stick and says "Mam, this here aint no butt deodarant, this is arm deodarant!" then the blonde says "yea it is, it says right here on the directions, Twist and push up bottom".

A bloke walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent." The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours." The guy says, "Gimme three boxes." The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants.
The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.
The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat." The pharmacist replies, "You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?"
The man says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."

This fellow comes into a pharmacy and asks for a vial of Cyanide.
The pharmacist, trying to keep a professional posture, asked what he wanted it for.
He answered, "I want to kill my wife."
"I'm sorry Sir," the pharmacist replied, "but you will have to understand under such circumstances I can't sell you any Cyanide."
The guy reaches into his wallet and produces a photo of his wife.
The pharmacist blushes and replies, "I am sorry Sir, I didn't realize you had a prescription."