Pie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasnt the crust, that was the pie plate.

Elephant: i heard you had dinner with the monkey last night ant: thats right elephant: er... how come you invited him, you know he eats like there's no tomorrow he stuffs himself and asks for seconds and thirds! Ant: yes, i know! That's what i was counting on... We had spinach pie! Not banana pie!

[To the tune of "American Pie"] A long, long, time ago
I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines.
And I knew if I had the chance
They could make my modem dance
with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines. But Help Desk phone calls made me shiver
with every busy they`d deliver.
Bad news on the front page
A 19-hour outrage. I can`t remember if I cried
when I realized that Steve Case had lied.
But something touched me deep inside
The day the service died. So bye bye to Amer`ca Online
Drove my modem to a domain and it`s working just fine.
And good old geeks are cheering users offline
Saying this`ll be the day that they die.
This`ll be the day that they die. Did you write the book of TOS
Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS
If an IM tells you so. And will you believe the Motley Fool
When he tells you that the service rules
And can you teach me how to Web real slow? Well more...

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them and sometimes with good reason. "What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one student indignantly."Whats it taste like?" asked the cook.""Glue!""Then its apple pie the plum pie tastes like soap."

Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

A Thanksgiving Cookbook
by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class
NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.
Ivette - Banana Pie
You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.
Russell - Turkey
You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.
Geremy - Turkey
You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.
Andrew - Pizza
Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.
Shelby - Applesauce
Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put more...