Plumber Jokes / Recent Jokes

The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, "Will it be alright if I have a bath while youre having your lunch?""Its okay with me lady," said the plumber, "as long as you dont splash my sandwiches."

A doctor stayed home from work one day because his toilet was clogged, and he couldn't get a plumber to make a housecall at any other time.
The plumber finally arrived several hours late. He spent about 15 minutes clearing the blockage in the toilet, and then he told the doctor, "That'll be $150, please."
Almost instantly, the doctor began to shout, " Are you out of your mind!? I am a doctor, and even I don't make $150 in 15 minutes!"
But the plumber explained, "I know how it is, doc. I used to be a doctor too, but I had to switch professions so I could start making some decent money!"

I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails.

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker
and thicker and slicker,
and two inches longer than you.
***
There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.
***
There was a young plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said stop your plumbing,
I think someones coming,
said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!
***
A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.
***
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said look you've cum,
all over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery.
***
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long more...

Max the plumber was summoned to a mansion to fix a leak and, discovering a very pretty maid there, he lost no time trying to combine business with pleasure. The girl refused on the grounds that her mistress was home, and she didn't want to be discovered and fired. After several refusals, Max finished the job and returned to his shop.
Next morning his phone rang, and his caller was the maid. In dulcet tones, she informed him that her mistress was out, and asked if he wanted to come over and see her.
"What!" yelled Max. "On my own time?"

A lawyer needed a leak fixed and called the plumber; who after about 45 minutes was done and all cleaned up. "That will be $75" said the plumber. The lawyer objected saying "I'm a lawyer, and I dont even get that much an hour!" The plumber responded: "I didn't either, when I was a lawyer".

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."