Powder Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me.
Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed.

"Where the hell have you been?!"
"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with more...

Once, a man at an amusement park had to use the bathroom so bad that he couldn't wait for the long line to the men's room. He asked if he could use the girl's bathroom quickly since it wasn't occupied. A female worker said that he could use it only if he did it quickly and didn't push any of the 3 buttons in the bathroom. The man went in and enjoyed a piss, hurried and washed his hands, but became curious of what the letters above the 3 buttons meant. He pushed and found out by pushing the first button labeled "WW" that it meant warm water. He enjoyed the warm water on his genital so he pushed the second button that said "BP". Baby powder blew out of a hole and powdered his below. Then, there was one more button that said "ATR". The man thought that the first two were nice, so he pushed the button. This one hurt so bad that he passed out. When he woke up in hospital, he noticed that his Willie was missing. The lady that worked at the amusement park more...

A woman went to her doctor and complained that her husband couldn't make love to her. The doctor said try this new viagra powder, just put some in his coffee and see how you get on. A week later the woman went back to her doctor and the doctor asked how the powder had worked. The wife said it was wonderful I put the powder in his coffee and right away he ripped my clothes off spread-eagled me on the table the mugs and plates went crashing everywhere. He made mad passionate love to me it was the best sex I have ever had. The only problem is I don't think we can go to that coffee shop any longer.

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the...?," he said to himself as a little blue dust cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April!" he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She shot back, "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."

A little boy and girl are playing outside in the back yard. The little boy has to go to the bathroom, but his mother taught him to always be polite and never talk about private matters in public.
He tries very hard to hold it in, unsure of what he should say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what he's heard his mother say at restaurants when she's had to excuse herself from the table.
He turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me, please. I must go powder my nose." He then darts into the house.
When he returns, the little girl looks at him and says, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes," the little boy shyly replies.
"Well then," the little girl says, "you'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."

Little Johnny and Jane are playing in a sandbox. Little Johnny has to go to take a pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say Jane to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.

So he turns to Jane and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back Jane looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said Little Johnny stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says Jane, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the? ? ? " he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She shot back: "It's not talcum powder. It's' Miracle Grow'."