Powder Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of drinks, one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.
After they have had their fun, he realizes it is 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife is going to kill me! Do you have any talcum powder?"
She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed. "Where the hell have you been?!"
"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."
"Oh yeah? Let more...

A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3am and says, 'Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?' She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty mad. 'Where the heck have you been?!?! 'Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking woman there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her. ''Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!' She sees his hands are covered with more...

A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.
After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3 AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?"
She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty mad.
"Where the heck have you been?!?!"
"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking woman there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."
''Oh yeah? Let me more...

your momma so old when she breast feeds the milk comes out like powder it goes poooooooooooooooooooooooooo

425 b.c. Day One
Dear Diary,
First day at sea. Whew! Just made it under the wire. The animals seem
happy, but the lions and tigers are beginning to become restless, and it
was a bad idea to put the rhinos, hippos and elephants on the starboard
side, and the birds, insects, gerbils and hamsters port. Took some work to
"straighten" that one out, har har. Too tired to talk to God tonight. (Get
Him started about the furies of His judgement, and He just goes on and
on...) So, off to bed...
425 b.c. Day Three
Dear Diary,
Rain has stopped, finally, and there's not a whole lot of land left to
see. Saw a whole village's worth of people, all tied together in a pitiful
attempt to save their own lives through common struggle. Sure glad I read
those books about building my own shelter and surviving the Apocalypse; now
if I can figure out what "canned rations" and "ferroconcrete bunkers" mean,
I'll be in more...

>>To All Men Traveling the Airways
>>
>>The Gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several attempts
>>to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. The
stewardess
>>noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look
>>of pain and anxiety on his face.
>>
>>"Sir", she said, "The ladies restroom is unoccupied. You may use it
>>if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He was
>>about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her
>>terms.
>>
>>The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling,
>>he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white
>>buttons were identified by the letters: "WW", "WA", and "PP", and
>>there was one red button labeled "ATR".
>>
>>Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit
>>there and more...

After doing the laundry, Lena folded Ole's underwear and put them in his dresser.
The following morning, Ole took out a pair. Shaking the powder out, he grumbled, "Doggone it, Lena, I wish you wouldn't put so much powder in my underwear."
Grinning sheepishly, Lena replied, "Oh, Ole, that's not powder... it's Miracle-Gro!"