Powder Jokes / Recent Jokes

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife' Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.' What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little' dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom,' why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker...'It's not talcum powder......It's' Miracle Grow'

One evening, while thinking I was being funny, I said to my wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take an inch or 2
off of your butt!"!

My wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning I took a pair of underwear out of my drawer. "What is this?" I said to myself as a little dust cloud appeared when I shook them out.

"Connie", I hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She replied..... "It's not talcum powder, it's Miracle Grow!"

We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this. What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights." 1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent. 2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. 3. Brought her large dog to the interview. 4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles. 5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview. 6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. 7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece. 8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle. more...

An eight-year-old boy went into a shop and picked out a large box of washing powder. The shopkeeper asked him if he had a lot of washing to do.
"Oh, no," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the shopkeeper. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the washing powder to the counter and paid for it.
A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some sweets. The shopkeeper asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The shopkeeper said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the washing powder that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"

Police have evacuated The Wall Street Journal's mailroom after several envelopes were found to contain a suspicious white powder. Afterwards, several comedy writers were arrested for telling the same tired "cocaine reference" joke.

Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not to exceed 1 (one)
pound. (See line 4.)
Line 2. Sugar, light brown or white, unless you or your spouse
had a financial account in a foreign country in 1990, in which case
dark brown sugar must be used. Do not substitute molasses or honey.
Use 1 (one) cup and adjust to taste.
Line 3. Eggs, six or half a dozen, whichever is greater.
Line 4. Semisweet chocolate, 6 oz. Nonfarm families may choose
the optional method of using cocoa powder. If you elect the Cocoa
Method, add 1/2 oz. (One Tablespoon) of butter to each 3
tablespoons of cocoa. Multiply by .9897 per ounce of substitution.
For adjustments to sugar, see pg. 29. Add total of additional
butter to Line 1 (above). Sugar adjustments should be reflected in
final total of Line 2. For additional details on cocoa conversion,
see Form 551.
Line 5a. Flour, white. If you were a federal, state or local
government employee, more...

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the more...