Principle Jokes / Recent Jokes
It is recounted that at King's College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year's rounds by teaching "a singularly important principle of medicine."
He asked a nurse to fetch him a sample of urine. He then talked at length about diabetes mellitus. "Diabetes," he said, "is a greek name; but the Romans noticed that the bees like the urine of diabetics, so they added the word mellitus which means sweet as honey. Well, as you know, you may find sugar in the urine of a diabetic..."
By now, the nurse had returned with a sample of urine which the registrar promptly held up like a trophy. We stared at that straw colored fluid as if we had never seen such a thing before. The registrar then startled us. He dipped a finger boldly into the urine, then licked his finger with the tip of his tongue. As if tasting wine, he opened and closed his lips rapidly. Could he perhaps detect a faint taste of sugar? The more...
When one wishes to unlock a door but only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)
A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)
When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)
Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)
When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)
If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)
Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)
You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)
Whenever one wants to connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of more...
Only the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) can assure economic prosperity. Only the CCP can maintain societal stability. No one wants freedom. All Chinese demand national reunification meaning that the mainland must take over Taiwan. The one child policy works. China is capitalist. The Tiananmen Massacre was necessary in order to prevent chaos. Only the CCP produces people capable of leading the country. Deng Xiaoping intended to implement democracy. 1 country 2 systems works. Mao unified China. Falun Gong wants to destroy China. The CCP opposes corruption. CCP is like the sun. The CCP cares about Chinese. The People's Liberation Army (PLA) has the ability to invade and take over Taiwan. The PLA won the 1979 war with Vietnam. 1 million dead PLA' volunteers' in Korea constituted a victory. The PLA knows how to maintain the modern Russian aircraft and ships that it purchased Zhu Rongji wants to clean up corruption. Mainland corruption is not creeping into Hong Kong. Falun Gong is a more...
What are the principle differences between a Philosophy student, an engineering student and a fine arts student?
The Philosophy student asks,"Why?"
The Engineering student asks, "How?"
The Fine Arts student asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. --Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. --Anthony's Law of the Workshop Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. -- Tussman's Law If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. --Lowery's Law The solution to a problem changes the problem. --Peer's Law There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. --William's Law Machines should work. People should think. --IBM's Pollyanna Principle The most ineffective workers shall be moved systematically to the place where they can do the least damage. --The Dilbert Principle The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. --Ehrlich's Law It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry. --Ralph's Observation If you tell the boss you were more...