Principle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. --Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair
Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner. --Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. --Tussman's Law
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. --Lowery's Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem. --Peer's Law
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. --William's Law
Handy Guide to Modern Science: 1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology. 2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry. 3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.
Machines should work. more...
Instruction Booklet Governing Principle: Instruction booklets are lost by the Goods Delivery Service. If not, they are listed in four languages: Japanese, Thai, Swahili, and Mongol.
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
Hurewitz's Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to...to... uh...
UNIFIED FIELD THEORY by TIM JOSEPH
In the beginning there was Aristotle,
At objects at rest tended to remain at rest,
And objects in motion tended to come to rest,
And soon everything was at rest,
And God saw that it was boring.
Then God created Newton,
And objects at rest tended to remain at rest,
But objects in motion tended to remain in motion,
And energy was conserved and momentum was conserved
and matter was conserved,
And God saw that it was conservative.
Then God created Einstein,
And everything was relative,
And fast things became short,
And straight things became curved,
And the universe was filled with inertial frames,
And God saw that it was relatively general, but some
of it was especially relative.
Then God created Bohr,
And there was the principle,
And the principle was quantum,
And all things were quantified,
But some things were still relative,
And God saw that it was more...
Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle: Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.
Q: What is the fundamental principle of engineering mathematics?
A: Every function has a Taylor series which converges to the function and breaks off after the linear term.