Prison Jokes / Recent Jokes

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own room.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work more...

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behaviour.
At work you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own loo.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work more...

A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he figures he had better introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a quivering voice, Hi my name is John Smith. The big guy who actually is a nice guy extends his and says my name is Turner Brown. The geek passes out. The big guy fans him and brings him too. Why did you pass out he asked? The geek replies, what did you say your name was? Turner Brown he replies. Oh God the geek says I thought you said "TURN AROUND".

Stupid people LICENSE TO STEAL Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper. IN THE BAG A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did - backwards. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag. MADE FOR TV Guns For Hire, an Arizona company specializing in staged gunfights for Western movies, got a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband shot. She was sentenced to four years in jail. more...

Milton Bradley is a notoriously hot-headed player for the Chicago Cubs.He's got a lot of game,but no Clue.

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.In prison you get three meals a day.At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.In prison you get time off for good behavior.At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.In prison you can watch TV and play games.At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.At work you are just ball-and-chained.In prison you get your own room.At work you have to share.In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from more...

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK... You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON...You get three meals a day. AT WORK... You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON...You get time off for good behavior. AT WORK... You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
IN PRISON...A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK... You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON...You can watch TV and play games. AT WORK... You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON...You get your own toilet. AT WORK... You have to share.
IN PRISON...They allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK... You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON...All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. AT WORK... You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for more...