Prison Jokes / Recent Jokes

Prisoners in an Indonesian jail escaped after blinding guards with a liquid laced with fiery chili peppers, a police official said Tuesday. The guards didn't mind the homemade pepper spray, but said, "Shoving the ginger and lemongrass up our ass, was a bit excessive."

In Prison... You spend the majority of your time in an 8 x 10 foot cell.
At Work... You spend most of your time in a 6 x 8 foot cubicle.
In Prison... You're given three meals a day.
At Work... You're given a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
In Prison... You get time off for good behavior.
At Work... You get rewarded for good bahavior with more work.
In Prison... A guard locks/unlocks all doors for you.
At Work... You carry a security card and unlock and open all doors yourself.
In Prison... You get to watch TV and play games.
At Work... You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In Prison... You have your own toilet.
At Work... You have to share.
In Prison... All expenses are paid for by taxpayers with no work required.
At Work... You pay all the expenses to go to work and then have taxes deducted from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In Prison... Most of your time is spent looking through the bars from the more...

In prison they spend the majority of their time in a 8'x10' cell.
At work, I spend most of my time in a 6'x8' cubicle.
In prison they get three meals a day.
At work I only get a break for one meal and I have to pay for that one.
In prision they can work out, read books, and play vollyball in the yard much of
the day, for free, then relax in their cell.
At work, I don't have any time on my break to go to the library or gym.
In prison they get time off for good behavior.
At work I get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
At work I must wear an ID badge at all times.
In prison they provide you with clothing with the ID conveniently sewn onto the
clothes.
At work there is a dress standard, but I must buy my own clothes.
In prison there is a dress standard, but they supply the clothes.
At work I must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors
myself.
In prison a guard would lock and unlock all the more...

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one. In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games. In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained. In prison you get your own loot. At work you have to share. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they more...

Two Jewish women were speaking about their sons, each of whom was incarcerated in the state prison.
The first says: "Oy, my son has it so hard. He is locked away in maximum security, he never even speaks to anyone or sees the light of day. He has no exercise and he lives a horrible life."
The second says: "Well, my son is in minimum security. He exercises every day, he spends time in the prison library, takes some classes, and writes home each week.
"Oy," says the first woman, "You must get such naches from your son."

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own room. At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work you get to pay all the more...

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8 X 10 cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6 X 8 cubicle.
In prison you get 3 meals a day.
At work you get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison a guard locks & unlocks, opens & closes the doors for you.
At work you must carry a security card and unlock & open doors yourself.
In prison you have your own toilet.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow you to visit your family and friends.
At work you can't even speak to family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the more...