Prompt Jokes

The following are strange error messages you can get Unix to generate.
They were culled during the summer of 1988 from rec.humor. As
we all know, real error messages have two parts: a message code, and a
return code. Ideally, the message code is hexadecimal, the return code
is octal, and the manual explaining the error messages uses decimal.
But Unix (tm), in keeping with its characteristic lexical confusion,
produces error messages which, although designed to make the system
appear sentient, and conversational, ultimately make the system seem as
stupid as it is. Note that the '%' prompt indicates that the command
should be issued from the C shell, and the '$' prompt indicates the
Bourne shell. Enjoy.
% rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
% "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?
Unmatched ."
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
% ^How did the sex change^ more...

Welcome to the LoveMaker! (v3. 1 Erosoft Industries, (c) 1993)
At the prompt, please enter your response.
I am the LOVEMAKER. A personalized, interactive poetry assistance program.
What is your name?
%JOHN
What a nice name, JOHN. You must be a man.
%YES
How nice for you. Who is your poem for, JOHN?
%SHEILA
How nice for SHEILA. She must be a woman?
%YES
SHEILA must be very special to you, JOHN. Is she?
%YES
What is the occasion, JOHN?
%VALENTINE'S DAY
SHEILA is a very lucky woman. I will need information about SHEILA
for a poem that best reflects your deep feelings for her, JOHN.
What color are her eyes?
%BLUE
Thank you, JOHN. But could you be more specific? Are they blue like
the sky after a clearing storm? Are they the icy blue of the far flung
fjords, shrouded in mist and mystery? Are they the steely blue of Walter
Gropius's later Bauhaus sketchbooks? Are they a cornflower more...